For years, I tried to get it right. To be kind enough, calm enough, good enough. But underneath it all, I was performing out of fear. I dared let go of that feeling, and learned to embody instead of perform. Now I go on journeys with women, guided by Gaia, who shows us what embodiment truly looks like. And in her presence, we remember what it means to be real.
I grew up walking through mud, valleys, forests, and mountain trails. Every summer, my parents took me and my sister on a trip into nature. We hiked. We were quiet. We got dirty. We got tired. And without knowing it, I was learning the language of Gaia. During those early summers I felt most alive. No roles. No performance. Just nature, me and my family. That rawness shaped me. But like many children, I drifted away from it as I grew older.
Circumstances made me believe that being wasn’t enough. That love had conditions. That softness was safer than truth. So I smiled even when I didn’t feel like it. I said ‘yes’ even when my heart said ‘no’.
I learned how to perform kindness instead of embodying it. How to look grounded while I was actually floating far from myself. And for a while, I seemed to work well. But underneath all that… I was afraid and insecure. My voice sat high in my throat. My body was tight. My intuition was distant. I was present, but not at home in myself.
Slowly I started sensing that I was faking closeness instead of feeling it. I knew that I had left myself, and needed to return.
One day, I opened an old photo album and looked at pictures from the travels I used to take with my family. I saw us walking through mountains, sitting by rivers, faces flushed from hours outside. And I burst into tears. It all became so clear. That was where I had felt most loved. Held by nature, surrounded by loved ones.
I realised how deeply privileged I was to have known that as a child, to have felt the safety and belonging that Mother Nature gives so freely. And I felt: this is what I want to offer others now. A return to something real. A space where you are loved and appericiated just as you are. Held by sisterhood. Seen and home again.